Actress Helen Mirren says she is resigned to the fact
that romance will never be a big part of her relationship with husband Taylor
Hackford.
But the Oscar-winner isn’t complaining – far from it.
She says her husband gives her loyalty and honesty, which in her book is more
important than wine and roses.
“Taylor isn’t romantic, but what I get on the other
side is so much better,” she says in an interview with Yours magazine, published
this week. “Loyalty and truthfulness – I’d take those qualities over romantic
evenings any time.
“I have the incredible advantage of having a husband
who is both loyal and understanding. In return, I give him back loyalty and
understanding, too. We couldn’t be married without that.”
She added: “He is tremendously supportive of me and my
career, too. He gives me strength and I do the same for him...He’s proud of my
successes and he’s sympathetic when things aren’t successful. If they aren’t,
he’ll say ‘You were great, darling’ and I do likewise.”
Helen Mirren isn’t the first person to admit that
romance isn’t a big part of their marriage. Many long-standing couples will
vouch for the fact that romance fizzles out over time and is replaced with less
exciting feelings and emotions. But that doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t
working. Quite the opposite: knowing you can rely on your partner to support
and understand you, through the bad times as well as the good, is a vital
ingredient of a strong marriage.
There is a tendency in today’s culture, which is
increasingly geared towards instant gratification, to believe a relationship
has run its course when the romance fades or disappears. I have heard clients
try to justify their adultery by saying the “spark” had gone out of their
marriage.
Well, sparks do go out of marriages: but if you
have a solid friendship, are supportive of each other and share the same values
and aims in life, you should count yourself lucky.
I have come across many people who traded in their
marriages for a heady fling – only to regret it when that heady fling becomes,
well, a bit like the marriage they left behind.
There are a plethora of reasons why people want to end
their marriages, but the lack of romance shouldn’t be one of them. Life is
tough – especially in today’s precarious economic climate – and having someone
by your side who is loyal, caring and supportive is very important.
So, if you’re thinking about ending your marriage
because the fizz has gone out of the Champagne, take stock and think about all
the other aspects of the relationship that do work well. It might not be
great – but often it’s good enough.

