The first high profile ex-couple to feel the effect of new legislation that allows the media into family courts in England and Wales are Earl Spencer and his estranged wife Caroline.

The couple, whose marriage foundered after six years and two children, were set to fight out their financial row in court, but failed to get the proceedings held behind closed doors. A judge ruled journalists should be allowed to report the case, in line with new laws introduced in April as part of a government bid to boost public confidence in the system.

According to press reports, the decision appears to have forced a rethink on whether the couple were prepared to see personal details exposed in a case they had both assumed would be private. Their lawyers will now hold further talks to determine how much – or how little – Princess Diana’s brother, said to be worth about £100 million, must give his former wife.

Settling their divorce out of court will not only spare the Spencers from having their “dirty laundry” aired in public, it may also take the heat out of the situation. Courts, by their very nature, tend to be confrontational. Sitting in a lawyer’s office is not only less stressful, but it also provides more opportunity for conciliation.

That is not to say that the Spencers will emerge the best of friends and delighted with the outcome, but if they – helped by their lawyers – are able to reach a mutually acceptable agreement, rather than having a judge impose a settlement, there is every chance they will feel less bitter or resentful.

The way in which a marriage ends is important, because it can affect relations between the two sides in the future. This matters very much if, as in Earl Spencer’s case, there are young children involved. The less acrimonious the atmosphere between the ex-couple, the more likely it is that they will be able to maintain a civil relationship, which will benefit the children.

The Spencers may be frustrated now not to have had their day in court, but in time they might be grateful they were able to resolve their differences between themselves.