New research published this week warns that warring couples who stay together for the sake of the children could do them more harm than good.

A study carried out by researchers at Cornell University, New York State, found that youngsters whose parents regularly argue are more likely to drop out of school, use drugs and binge drink. They are also more likely to have children early and outside marriage, as well as experience the failure of their own relationship.

The study, called Are Both Parents Always Better Then One?, found problems could continue into adulthood, with children from unhappy families prone to mental health disorders.

Kelly Musick, who co-wrote the report, said: “While children tend to do better living with two biological married parents, the advantages of living with two continuously-married parents are not shared equally by all children.”

This is something I have long known to be true: although previous major research studies have found that children do best when brought up in two-parent families where couples have made a long-term commitment to each other, it cannot be good for children to witness frequent arguments between their parents and live in a tense or frosty atmosphere.

Unless parents are extremely good actors, a difficult or hostile relationship will have a negative effect on children. Youngsters are likely to feel anxious and fearful. They may also experience feelings of guilt – that it’s somehow their fault that their parents are constantly at loggerheads. They can become withdrawn and tentative – frightened to say the wrong thing in case it causes a fresh argument between their parents.

I would always urge couples to try to solve their differences when there are children involved, but when it becomes obvious the relationship is unsalvageable, the better option is to part as amicably as possible.

If done properly, separation will be of greater benefit to the children in the long term than if the parents continue to stay together in a state of malcontent.

Children will be happier if they see that their parents are happier; and if their parents aren’t caught up in a cycle of domestic disharmony, they will be able to focus on being more effective parents.

Couples who decide to separate rather than struggle on together often find that their relationship improves once the atmosphere of conflict is removed. Again, this can only be of benefit to the children.

When parents go their separate ways, there are also advantages to children in having two homes (and two bedrooms), two summer holidays and two Christmas and birthday celebrations.