A study by the Oxford Centre for Family Law and Policy (OCFLP) has found that the perception that fathers are treated unfairly by the divorce courts is wrong. The family justice system is not biased against non-residential parents, it concludes.

A recent spate of newspaper stories, such as those written about the case of David Cass, who committed suicide after murdering his two young daughters, serve to amplify the idea that fathers whose marriages break down are all but cut out of their children’s lives.

A common thread in media reports is the use of the words "custody" and "access" – words traditionally associated with possessions or land rather than human beings. These words are used frequently in the context of a "conflict" or "battle". 
 
There is a general perception – fuelled by the way that news of “family wipe-outs” and other high profile cases is presented – that fathers are “secondary” parents, that the courts favour mothers, that on divorce or separation Dad has to accept an alternate weekend relationship with the children he used to see every day. A picture is painted of fathers having to go to extreme measures to see their children, of the courts rubber-stamping orders that children will live with Mum and Dad will see children only when Mum lets him.
 
The good news is the perception does not reflect the reality of what is happening in many families of divorcing and separating parents. Thousands of parents are working through their separations without arguing about the children. Thousands of fathers are having better relationships with their children after separation than before.
 
I have been in practice long enough to remember when children were subjected to "custody", "care and control", and "access" orders. I have seen the tide slowly start to turn, with increasing speed, in the last three or four years. There hasn't been a "custody" or "access" order made in the England and Wales since 1991. The words no longer have a place in family law. 

Fathers are equal parents to mothers. "Shared residence" orders are being made more often to give a strong message that both parents, after separation, continue to be parents in every sense. The emphasis is on the right of the child to have a relationship with both parents – it's not about occasional visits.
 
After decades of fathers fighting in the courts for reasonable contact, of groups like Fathers4Justice campaigning, of family law groups such as Resolution working with the Government and courts, and 17 years after the implementation of the 1989 Children Act in 1991, parents are beginning to realise that they don't need to fight about the children. The OCFLP study, commissioned by the Ministry of Justice, shows that the majority of non-residential parents who pursue orders through the courts secure direct face-to-face contact with their children.

The trouble is, good stories don't make the news. Who is going to buy a paper with the headline "Children aged 10 and 7 have fantastic holiday with Dad and are happy to see Mum when they get back", or "Mum and Dad with their new partners organise amazing 18th birthday celebration for their only child"?  Yet these things happen.
 
So if you are a father who is having problems seeing your children, don't believe what you read. Seek support and get legal advice from a specialist family solicitor. The cases you read about in the papers are the exceptions not the norm.

This week's blog is by Georgina Burrows, children law specialist at Benussi & Co