Gordon Ramsay may be able to serve up a gourmet feast on Christmas Day, but whether his Yuletide will be full of joy and peace is rather more debatable. The TV chef has been embroiled in allegations of a seven-year affair and one can only imagine the effect on his wife and four children.

When the first tabloid headlines hit the newsstands, Gordon’s wife, Tana, appeared, smiling, by his side in a public show of unity. The message was clear – she was standing by her man. A few weeks on, that seems still to be the case.

Yet however determined Tana is to hang on to her marriage (friends say she is “resigned” to her husband’s “roving eye”), her emotions are likely to be all over the place. Even if she believes the claims to be untrue, the allegations will have rocked the Ramsay household to its core.

Tana won’t be the only spouse facing this Christmas knowing or suspecting that their partner has been having an extra-marital dalliance.

Christmas, as I’ve said often before, is a stressful time for even the happiest of families; for those who are experiencing emotional upheaval, it can become an excruciating ordeal. If it’s just you and your spouse, it’s possible simply to scrub the celebrations. If there are children involved, that isn’t an option. Somehow, even if your heart is breaking, you have to “do” Christmas for the kids’ sake.

So how do you get through it without falling to pieces? Here are a few ideas that might help to see you through the Festive Period with your dignity and the wellbeing of your children intact:

• Make a pact with your spouse. Agree that you are going to put your troubles to one side and play happy families for the duration of Christmas and New Year
• Make your partner promise not to contact – or be contacted by – his or her lover during the holiday. No emails, no text messages, no mobile phone calls
• Where possible, adjust your plans so they include additional friends and relatives to help diffuse the potentially tense atmosphere
• Resolve to lay off the alcohol. Booze will loosen your inhibitions and heighten your frayed emotions
• Focus your mind on the children. Put all your energy and emotion into ensuring they have a magical Christmas
• Devise festive activities to do on your own with the kids. Take them to a carol service, a Christmas market or a Santa’s grotto – things that will get you out of the house without it being obvious you are trying to avoid being with your partner
• Fantasise. Make a plan – in your head or in writing – of what you want the New Year to bring. That might be a resolved life with your partner or a life, full of new possibilities, on your own. Work out a strategy for making the dream a reality
• Remind yourself that Christmas doesn’t last very long. It will be over soon and when it is you can get down to the business of sorting out your problems
• Take time out for yourself. Whatever the demands placed upon you, make sure you plan into your Christmas schedule some time when you can escape the family melee – go for a walk, read a book in your bedroom, visit friends or log on to Facebook
• Don’t bottle it up. Confide in a friend or relative – it won’t spoil their Christmas but it may make yours a little easier to bear

I’m aware this advice won’t solve the problem of a partner’s infidelity – real or imagined – but it might help you have a more sanguine Christmas than you imagined was possible. And the kids might have a truly merry one.