The “war of the Tarrants” has taken a distinctly un-Festive turn with the newly divorced celebrity couple apparently coming to blows over who will see the kids at Christmas.

While Chris's 16-year-old son, Toby, has reportedly agreed to join him for lunch at his Surrey home on Christmas Day, he will not see his daughter Sammy, 18, or 20-year-old stepdaughter, Fia, at all. Even Jennifer and Helen, the TV presenter's children from his first marriage, are believed to be spending more time with ex-wife Ingrid than Chris over the holidays.

A source told a national newspaper: "It's a terribly difficult situation and Chris is deeply saddened by it. He's abroad at the moment and will only be home for three days at Christmas before going away again. Staying busy is his way of dealing with it.

"But to this day he cannot accept the blame for this situation. He says it's Ingrid who has turned the kids against him.”

However, his former wife hotly denies the accusation, saying: "The children are old enough to sort out their own arrangements and where they choose to spend Christmas is completely up to them. I would never do anything to stand in their way. I'm not a bitter woman – I'm not like that at all. Even if they were toddlers I wouldn't do anything to come between them and their father. That would be a dreadful thing to do."

It would indeed. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, Christmas – being a traditional family time – is especially hard for broken families, in particular newly-fractured ones like the Tarrants’.

The biggest problem to negotiate is which parent gets to spend the festivities with the children. A typical solution is the half-and-half arrangement, but this can aggravate rather than ameliorate the situation unless planned carefully.

A cardinal rule is never to “exchange” the kids on Christmas Day. If you do it will lead to tension in both households and spoil the day for everyone – especially the children.

A much better solution is for the parent who’s not going to be seeing the kids to organise a “turkey and tinsel” celebration in the run-up to Christmas. Although December 25 is a day that everyone considers special, there’s no reason why you can’t make another December date just as festive. That way, the children get two Christmases and the grown-ups can enjoy quality time with them without any external pressures.

It is also important that if you’re not going to see them on the big day, the kids know you’ll be enjoying yourself. However miserable you might feel, it’s vital you don’t transmit this to the children. It’s a good idea to make definite plans for the Festive Season that you can share with the children. Invite yourself to the home of a close friend or relative or, if that isn’t possible, resolve to start learning a foreign language or take yourself off to a health spa for a few days. Just don’t make the kids feel guilty!