It’s still five weeks away, but already it seems that Christmas is upon us. The shops are groaning with goodies and magazines and TV adverts are awash with gift ideas – many of which cost an arm and a leg.

As someone who has written a book about how not to get divorced after Christmas – which focuses on the emotional and financial stress caused by the Festive Season – I get annoyed about the focus placed on encouraging people to spend a great deal of money, often more than they can reasonably afford.

It was particularly disquieting to read in the newspapers this week that average spending per person on food, festivities, clothes and gifts will rise by seven per cent this year to a staggering £706, according to an annual study from accountancy firm Deloitte.

This is madness and wholly unnecessary. But I wonder how much this figure takes into account the “guilt” spending by absent fathers and single mothers who are struggling to salvage a happy Christmas for their children from the wreckage of their failed marriages?

As the onset of Christmas begins to hit home, parents will be starting to plan what special presents to buy for their children. For those parents who won’t be around the tree on Christmas morning, there is, I suspect, a temptation to splash out on the costliest gift advertised on television – if only to demonstrate that they love their children as much as they did when they were still living in the family home.

While this is, of course, understandable, it’s important to realise that deluging them with “must have” presents isn’t the best way to show your love for your children. Much as they might crave the latest gadgets and computer games, what they actually want above all else is their parents’ love, reassurance and support.

This is true even in united families, but is especially so when the parents are no longer together. Because Christmas is seen as a family occasion, children can find it extremely difficult to come to terms with the fact that they may not be seeing their Mum or Dad on Christmas Day. It’s vital, then, that their emotional needs are met rather than their materialistic ones. Rather than spending a lot of time and money hunting out an array of expensive gifts, it might be more comforting for them to spend a weekend away with you in the run-up to the Festive Season, where you can simply be together and do all the parent-and-child things you may be missing out on now you’re no longer a family.

In short – as I’ve noted in a previous blog – it’s all about presence, not presents. You can give your son or daughter the most amazing gift this Christmas, but don’t lose sight of the fact that that the best present you can give them, particularly if you’re a part-time parent, is yourself.