Tory leader David Cameron this week signalled he is ready to introduce tax breaks for married couples on the back of a major party report warning that family breakdown and debt are out of control.

‘If marriage rates went up, if divorce rates came down, if more couples stayed together for longer, would our society be better off? My answer is yes,’ stated Mr Cameron.

I concur heartily with his sentiments: I have seen, in more than 25 years as a divorce lawyer, just how wretched the divorce process can be, let alone the long-term financial, social, emotional and educational ramifications of family breakdown. I may earn my living from easing couples through the legal minefield of divorce, but it’s no coincidence that I’ve written a book entitled How NOT to Get Divorced After Christmas. I know how far-reaching the consequences of marital disintegration are and appreciate how important it is for marriages to survive.

On the other hand, I also know that divorce is sometimes the lesser evil: whatever the ‘experts’ say, I see no merit in holding together a miserable or destructive relationship in the misguided belief that a greater good will be served by doing so.

Sometimes, divorce is the best thing that can happen to a family. How can a household in which a husband and wife are forever rowing be better than two single parent units where peace reigns?

Mr Cameron might be right to talk up marriage, but his remarks aren’t hugely helpful to those of you whose marriages are on the verge of collapse or have already disintegrated.

If you fall into these categories, don’t be alarmed – or feel guilty – about the Tory leader’s comments. However much the political parties try to bolster matrimony, wedded bliss will end in tears for many thousands of couples each and every year, whatever the tax breaks on offer.

What the likes of Mr Cameron will never say (and why should they?) is that it is possible to have a ‘good’ divorce, by which I mean a separation that leaves both parties financially solvent, not too emotionally battered and with their children feeling philosophical, reassured even, rather than traumatised.

Where I and other good matrimonial lawyers come into our own is to steer separating couples through the process of dismantling their marriage with a minimum of stress, acrimony and anxiety.  

There are divorce lawyers out there who perceive their role to be an adversarial rather than conciliatory one, which can turn an amicable divorce into a ‘tooth and nail’ fight in the courts.

My firm believes in making the divorce process as smooth and un-stressful as such a difficult process can surely be.

We understand that both parties, whatever their circumstances, need to be provided for financially and with their reputations and self-esteem intact.

This is not always easy, of course, but the sensitive handling of a divorce can make the difference between someone starting a new life feeling energised, reassured and complete to someone embarking on a half-life, feeling let down, frustrated and bitter.

As for the ‘plight’ of children involved in divorce, which Mr Cameron is right to highlight, if the process is done ‘right’ then youngsters can benefit and thrive rather than be consigned to the pit of delinquency and despair.