Nearly one in three children is living with only one of their parents. Researchers have found there are nearly 3.8 million such children in this country, the great majority of them in single-parent families. More than half rarely see their missing parent, according to a study published this week by the Office for National Statistics.

When parents divorce or separate, dependent children usually live with one or the other. Most often it’s the mother who is the main carer. In a majority of cases, the “absent” parent – most commonly the father – plays an active and loving role in the children’s lives. In fact, many fathers spend more time with their kids after a divorce than they did before! This is because they may have their children stay with them every other weekend, for example. Pre-divorce, the dads might have been on the golf course every Saturday and Sunday – now, they devote the whole weekend to being with the kids.

There are, however, fathers (and mothers) who – not because they don’t dearly love their children – don’t maintain regular contact with them. There are many reasons why this might happen: a difficult relationship with the ex-partner; a difficult relationship with the children; the “absent” parent having moved a long distance away; heavy work commitments or the absent parent starting a new family.

In most cases, it is down to the parent to make sure they have regular contact with their children. And in today’s culture of mass-communication, there are many ways to do this, even if someone is unable to be with their children physically.

If you are struggling to maintain contact with your children, here are a few ideas on how to keep the channels of communication open – so that your children are always aware of how much you love and care about them:

• Try to arrange to see them on a regular basis – even if that can only be, say, once a month
• Stick to the arrangements, come what may: children who are already unsettled because of the divorce will be more so if you cancel at the last minute or keep changing the arrangements
• When you do see the children, try to give them your full attention and show them, with cuddles and words, how much they mean to you
• If you are unable to see your children often or regularly, keep in touch in other ways – by ‘phone, text, email, letter or messages on a social networking sites
• If you travel a lot with your job, making regular contact difficult, send them a postcard of everywhere you go. That way, they will get a sense of what you’re doing
• Organise your holidays around theirs: you don’t necessarily have to take them away – just being around is enough
• If they are old enough, encourage them to contact you – such as sending you a picture they drew or a piece of writing they did at school. They will be happy to know you are interested in what they are doing
• Last, but not least, don’t get discouraged if your children seem disinclined to see or speak to you. Persist in staying in contact in some way, regardless of their response. However hard things may be immediately after divorce or separation – they will come to appreciate your love in time.