This week, the singer Cheryl Cole was photographed looking even more slender than usual. “Making one of her first public appearances since her split from cheating husband Ashley, Cheryl Cole could not hide the fact she looks worrying thin,” commented one newspaper.

Miss Cole announced she was separating from her footballer husband last month after allegations he had been unfaithful.

Divorce and separation are painful and difficult times and in the emotional and legal turmoil that ensues, many people neglect their health and wellbeing. The shock and dismay at seeing their relationship fall apart can cause people to lose their appetite (or comfort-eat), stop sleeping properly and disregard their appearance. As a result, their energy levels and self-esteem can plummet.

However, this is precisely the time when people whose lives are being turned upside down should take care of themselves as never before. It might be difficult – even seem self-indulgent – to pamper yourself when you’re suddenly a single parent or when your interest in keeping up appearances has hit rock bottom. But “letting yourself go” is counter-productive both to the process of divorce and separation and also to the business of rebuilding your life.

It is vital, therefore, that you eat regularly and healthily, take exercise, avoid excessive alcohol consumption and keep your appointment at the hair or manicure salon. Even if you’re finding it hard to sleep at night, staying up into the small hours isn’t going to help. Rest, nutrition and exercise will all help you to stay mentally and emotionally on top of the situation.

Here, then, are a few tips on looking after Number One during divorce and separation:

• Eat well. Even if you have little appetite, try to cook yourself one healthy meal a day. If you don’t feel like cooking, make healthy snacks such as vegetable crudities and a dip and eat lots of fruit. Conversely, try not to resort to comfort-eating – munching Big Macs and packets of biscuits in front of the telly. You will put on weight, feel unhealthy and bloated and, as a result, feel worse about yourself
• Sleep well. If the bed holds too many painful memories, move into the spare room. Go to bed at your usual time or earlier, even if you’re finding it difficult to sleep. You can always read, do a crossword, watch TV or send a few text messages until you feel drowsy. Before bed, try to relax: run a bubble bath and make yourself a hot chocolate or herbal tea
• Don’t drink too much. Many people, understandably, reach for the bottle to blot out their unhappiness, but alcohol is a depressant and too many glasses will make you feel even sorrier for yourself. It’s also a disinhibitor, so you might end up making ranting or weepy late-night calls to your ex, which you may regret in the sober light of day
• Take exercise. You don’t need to go to the gym or run a half-marathon – a 10-minute walk round the block or a cycle ride into town can blow the cobwebs away, pep up your energy levels and make you feel better about yourself. If you’re struggling to sleep at night, physical exercise during the day can help to tire you out
• Indulge yourself. If you were toying with the idea of changing your hairstyle or taking up golf – go ahead. Looking good or having a new interest can help restore confidence and provide a fresh focus

In short, don’t feel that the last person who needs looking after is YOU. If you are to come out of the tunnel of divorce and separation in the best shape possible, you need to look after yourself. Remember, you are Number One!