By Helen Jane Arnold

This morning I received a letter from someone I’d recently advised, thanking me for my help and saying she was now talking to husband about how they rebuild their relationship.

People assume that family lawyers deal only with relationship breakdown, but much of our time with clients is spent helping them to reconstruct their marriage and avoid divorce.

Many years ago, I spent time working with women and staff at a women’s refuge, which proved to be a valuable experience and an education about violence and abuse within relationships. As a result I developed an instinct for identifying clients who are living in a bullying or abusive relationship.

The balance of power within a relationship can shift over time and someone who is constantly bullied and criticised gradually loses self esteem and confidence. Their ability to negotiate and be an equal partner is affected. The quality of their relationship deteriorates. They are at rock bottom when they come in to see me. Sometimes, just helping people to recognise the situation they are in and suggesting strategies to counter bullying and critical behaviour can help a person to get themselves, and their relationship, back on track.

My involvement in childcare work in the earlier part of my career also provided valuable training to help resolve child issues in divorce and cohabitation cases. Happily, the cases I now deal with do not involve physical and psychological abuse within the family but my earlier training has given me insight into the damaging affect of relationship breakdown upon children. Parents can be bound up in their hurt and distress. As a result, children can become invisible.

At Benussi & Co, we encourage our clients to put the children’s interests at the forefront of the divorce process. We see ourselves as an honest broker, talking to parents about how they can best manage the process for the good of the children. We stress the importance of putting contact arrangements in place. A measure of goodwill and cooperation for the sake of the children can help a couple to find a means of communication and at work together cooperatively at a difficult time, when it is all too easy to focus on the negative.

My 25 years in the legal profession has provided a broad spectrum of experience. I started out with a business degree before switching to law. There is not much I haven’t seen over the years as a litigation practitioner dealing with crime, commercial disputes, housing, immigration and family law.

The main reason I opted to specialise in family law is that I enjoy working with people and helping them to tackle the personal and family issues which confront them. It is possible to make a tangible difference and to help clients empower themselves. People who, at the start of the divorce process, are fragile and vulnerable, grow in confidence. As they become more informed and comfortable about the legal process they become better equipped to make the necessary decisions.

Benussi & Co offers a team approach to problem solving, drawing on the experience of solicitors, counsellors, life coaches and other professionals. In this way we are able to support our clients to move their lives, and those of their children, forward.

· Helen Jane Arnold is a partner with Benussi & Co, specialising in complex high net worth, international and pension cases.